Walk into the Room

Update as of 9_25_2012: This post was originally made somewhere around January 2012.

"What are you up to" I as at 5:12pm, to which she responds "still on the computer" at 5:20pm.

Pina 3D would be a good movie I think to myself, shes a dancer. I decide to go over the house and surprise her and take her to the movies. I arrive at around 6:10 and slowly walk upstairs, so as not to give it away from the sound of the cleats on my bikes shoes, knocking the wood with every step. I open and door and turn on the light, only to see a empty bed.

Im beginning to feel it once again, it returns like a ravenous animal smelling fear; something is wrong. I stand motionless, taking in all that I can. I smell it, the aroma seeping into my nostrils; something has been burning in the room, but she doesn't smoke she told me. I walk to the left of the room, and instinctively go to the trashcan, and there it is.

A box of cigarettes, some hastily balled up tinfoil. I open the box of camels and find a small plastic bag...

Here is comes, I drop the bag in a frantic dash to do anything that will take my mind off the obvious. I cant believe it, its not true. "Why are you so fuckin stupid?" I say to myself, "Why do you do this to yourself?"

Feet steadily reaching a fast cadence as I race through the city, my fix is approaching. I feel light as I push harder on the pedals, water rising from the street and being thrown onto my back as I speed through the rain. What if I get hit, i think... Its not enough, faster, FASTER!!

ITS NOT GOOD ENOUGH, I NEED A BETTER FIX!!!!!!!

***Update 7:11 PM - Waiting for my GoPro battery to charge***

Since I did not update this post since the January 2011, the results of my "Fix" was a bike ride in a speedo bathing suit in below freezing temperatures for about 30 minutes in Center City while it began to snow. It was probably the stupidest thing I've done and literally almost resulted in Hypothermia but its all part of the learning experience. I will post a pic of it soon.