I Remember

Something...something triggered the thoughts.

Somethings triggered the memories that continue to plague my mind.

I remember when I first pulled away from you, sure that your habits were something I could not deal with. 

I remember the first party you took me to.

I remember pacing outside the front door, pushing off comments of concern from others. "Whats up?" they said, "just getting some fresh air" I gleefully responded. But you know what I was doing. I was falling apart inside, falling into pits of regret and hatred as I watched you start to stumble.

I remember watching you stagger to the kitchen table and fall to the ground, narrowly missing the corner of the table with your beautiful face.

I remember everyone immediately staring at me with a expectation that I would rush to your aide.

I remember looking at you with such anger and hatred as you arose, one awkward and strained movement at a time.

I remember the car ride back to your apartment, your unconscious body swaying with the curves of the highway.

I remember getting home and looking for the keys you lost in your drunken haze.

I REMEMBER LOOKING AT YOUR PHONE AND SEEING A TEXT YOU SENT TO YOUR FRIEND, "I SPIKED MY BOYFRIENDS DRINK, AM I A BAD GIRLFRIEND?"

I remember the trust I had for you melt into the Vodka you dripped into the juice you offered me.

I remember the words you told me only a few months ago. "I knew I was the person whom you were describing, the person that you didn't want to be with but I deserved to feel good."

I remember you Jennifer, I remember you every single day.